32 weeks....8 more to go

Today I reached the 32 week mark.  The past 4 weeks I've only gained an additional 4-5 pounds (I've stopped being as meticulous in counting the weight since it was driving me crazy) - so no explosion has taken place, thank God.  Although, that's surprising with all the pigging out I've been doing on candy and cookies from "Santa"...hahaha.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my new niece-in-law, Kaedence Larkin Slife, who was born today weighing in at 5 pounds and some odd ounces.  :)

Confirmation

Today Jacob and I chose to get 3D images of our baby.  Since the ultrasound at 18 weeks was not 100% conclusive, I was still uncertain if we were, in fact, having a girl (and I was also convinced that the fetus would be deformed - why, I don't know).  So, with the suggestion from a close friend, I found a place offering a holiday package of 2D and 3D pics, CD, and DVD of our session plus a couple other freebies.  And today, we have a 100% confirmation that we're having a girl (phew - no new name needed), and that she is NOT deformed (double Phew).  Here are a couple pics:

Here her eye is open

Long fingers

Sucking on big toe

This experience has definitely made me more excited to meet her - and appreciate the miracle of human life that develops when two little cells get together.  Amazing.   Today also marks the end of my 7th month.  

suspicions confirmed

Well, my doc confirmed that I did have a varicose vein last week.  Since returning from London, I stopped walking as much and decided to try water aerobics.  That didn't make much difference, but I found that I could do the elliptical and a reclined stationary bike without increased pain. :)  This is HUGE for me as I was starting to feel very down not being able to exercise.  And the best news is that the vein has started to recede or thin out or whatever (get better) since I've cut out the walking and the weight lifting.  YAY!

Other than that, I'm enjoying no schoolwork for the next couple weeks and am looking forward to a quiet Christmas at home this year.  I have plans to make lots of new Christmas cookies, as well as the typical sugar cookies, and a very late Thanksgiving dinner (since neither Jacob or I had it this year).  :-)

We have (dun, dun, duuuuhhhhnnnnn) . . . a NAME.

Yesterday at least 5 people asked me if we had decided on a name.  This morning, over the great technology of instant messaging, we came to a final decision:

Alexandra Eden Slife

For those who like to know the meanings behind names (I am one), Alexandra means "defender of mankind."  And Eden means "pleasure, delight. The biblical paradise home to Adam and Eve."

We chose Eden as a middle name to play on a feminine form of Edward, after my grandfather.

I really think this little one will truly fit that name.  Good for being cute, girlie, sporty, or sophisticated.  And I don't know anyone with that name, so she's original to us. :)

So that's that.  The wondering and contemplating is over.   I can now start thinking of her as a person, rather than a fetus.  This is progress.

6 months, 1 week (28 weeks)

 According to my mom, I begin "exploding" now.  As you can see, I've definitely rounded out over the past 4 weeks.

 But from the side, I still feel like I'm not that large.  It's funny how different perspectives of my stomach look.  It's definitely difficult to reach my toes now, at least without squatting like an aborigine.

Another day, another exciting development

Just when I was giving thanks to God for the last month being clear of queasiness, I have been struck down again.  Yep.  I think God must either be a vengeful god, is punishing me for something, or I'm just simply an unlucky soul.  Thankfully, I felt good while in England this past weekend when I got to see Jacob.  But now, I'm back to feeling queasy and hungry, yet no amount of food will get rid of either sensation.

In addition to this, (and this is another glorious side effect of pregnancy that NO ONE ever tells you about - probably because if they did, less people would be inclined to get pregnant) I have developed a lovely varicose vein (I think - this is me self-diagnosing) in my nether-region.  It is painful with pressure, which means the only source of moderate intensity exercise I could tolerate for more than 30 minutes (stationary bike) can no longer be tolerated.  So now I have pain with walking AND biking.  This is disheartening.  I was hoping to make it through pregnancy without spending money on a gym (especially after seeing how much it costs to join a gym here in Sanford), but it looks like water exercise may be my last and only option to getting a good workout in.  So, now, in the last few months I will have to sport a swimming suit and get my ass to the pool.   Let's hope my body cooperates and allows me to tolerate that, at least.  The good news is that the vein will most likely disappear after birth. The bad news is that it will likely get worse over the following months, and will likely occur earlier and get worse with subsequent pregnancies.  Oh joy!!!!!!!  I DO have to admit, the body is amazing at dealing with the tremendous task of growing a human being.  I just hope that the effort I put in to stay healthy is rewarded.  If not - then I will most likely just get fat next time. (ok - no I wouldn't do that, but it's tempting to think about.)

On a more positive note, the baby is very active and seems to be doing well.  My cats enjoy incubating me (i.e. laying on my stomach) - but that may be just because they are spoiled and love attention. Hahaha.  I hope they adjust well to the new arrival.

Ah the joy

So, for the past month I've thought I had a simple pulled groin muscle, but there was no obvious mechanism of injury and rest/ice never seemed to help it.  Recently, the same pain that started on the left has now migrated to include my right groin as well.  Again, no inciting incident.  I started to do some reading and found that I may be dealing with Pubic Symphisis Dysfunction which is a result of the hormone Relaxin causing my ligaments to, well, relax around my pelvic joints in prep for delivery.  Unfortunately, this preparation is coming way too early for its purpose, making it painful for me to walk (forget jogging), do lunges, and even roll over in bed.  Apparently there are pelvic corsets that women can wear to decrease the pain by compressing the joints back to their original position and prevent slippage.  When I return to the doc's on Wednesday, I'll be sure to mention this stuff to see if it is, in fact, the problem.  For now, I just have to work through the pain 'cause there ain't NO WAY I'm going to stop exercising (especially with my appetite revving up again).

Just to add to my anxiety...

I received a not-so-inspiring email from my mom today telling me that when she was pregnant with both my brother and me she had slow gain until the 7th month and then she "exploded".  How is this news that I could possibly want to hear?  If heredity has anything to do with how my body will react to pregnancy, this only makes me want to be pregnant LESS.  Thanks, mother dearest. Personally, I think she's secretly hoping I end up fat and covered in deep, purple stretch marks from my neck to my knees.  I already feel gross and disgusting enough as it is.  To me, pregnancy is not "cute".  I do not think "baby bumps" are adorable.  I think it looks weird and unnatural.  So, the bigger they are, the more grossed out I am.  Sorry, pregnant people.  I have nothing against being pregnant or pregnancy- except the way it wreaks havoc on the woman's body.  I sometimes wish I were a man.  They have it so damn easy.

Turkey Thermometer

So - I have what I can only describe as a "flatty" belly button. That is, it neither sticks out or goes in.  So, when I found out I was pregnant, I was certain that it would pop right out within the first trimester.  Luckily, that didn't happen, but the inevitable has just about arrived.  My button is flirting with becoming more pronounced, like a turkey thermometer that pops up when the turkey is fully cooked....only I won't be fully cooked for another three months.  This sexy new change comes JUST IN TIME for my reunion with Jacob in England.  I wonder if he'll be as turned on by it as me....

24 week pic

As you can all see, my ass is still larger than my belly. I guess that's the way it always is though.  I'm feeling pretty pleased with the progression, overall.  Not very apparent that I am pregnant if I wear a sweatshirt.  I'm sort of dreading the public gawking that is to certainly come.  We've all done it - you see a pregnant chick and stare at her womb, wondering how far along she is, or whatever.  It's not that I'm ashamed or anything of being pregnant, but I am resisting my identity including "mother" for some reason.  I'm much more comfortable just being Rachel, the amazing, sexy, smart, funny, student, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, granddaughter, and niece.  ;)   Don't worry, family, I'll get used to adding "mother" to that list at some point, probably when reality smacks me in the face when I come home from the hospital. 

Another doctor visit last week had me at 158.5 pounds...only 2.5 pounds since last time. That's pretty good. :)  I got a flu shot and the OK to travel to England for Thanksgiving.  I finally got in with a different doctor's office and they are a MILLION times more organized and modern than the last place.  The doctor spoke to me like an educated person, citing evidence to me and everything.  I will have to deliver in Pinehurst, though, which is about 40 minutes away from Sanford.  But the facilities are MUCH BETTER and I have a lot more faith in their abilities to get everything right.  It is the same hospital I did my first clinical affiliation with, so I'm comfortable with the change.

My next doctor's appointment is Nov 21 and I believe that is the one where I have to do the glucose screening test for gestational diabetes.  I'm not too worried about that, but maybe I should - I do eat a lot of sugar. :) (thanks to lots of leftover candy from Halloween and cool evenings requiring hot chocolate)

As far as naming is concerned, we're still unsure.  When Jacob was home last we kicked around some names and I think we've gotten a good start.  I would personally like to have Eden be incorporated into the name someway.  I don't know if we'll ever have a boy, and I wanted to pay homage to my grandfather, Ed, on my dad's side, so Eden is a great feminine form of Ed.  Plus it has the bonus connotation of being the birthplace of the first family, and she will be the beginning of our family.  So, we'll see how that all turns out.  We may wait until we can look at her to finally decide for sure. 

Other than that, things are going pretty well.  Now and then I still feel nauseous or have issues with digestion, but my energy is pretty good (until evening) and I've been doing some tougher workouts without negative effects.  I'm definitely looking forward to being able to sleep on my stomach and back again...I feel like I'm going to get pressure sores on my hips from sleeping on my sides so much.

Ok - enough for now.  Thanks for checking in, everyone. :)

Busy Baby

This little tyke has become very mobile just in the last week.  Before I would only feel her moving a couple times throughout the day, usually after a meal and for only a half an hour or so.  But now, she's punching and kicking and bucking all over the place at all hours of the day and night.  I can tell she's already bigger than what the baby websites say babies at 23 weeks are "normally" because one second I feel her bulge out just below my spleen/stomach area and the next second she kicks down by my appendix.  She's no joke.  I wonder if this is an omen to how active she will be once freed from her fleshy cage.  I am definitely anticipating months of colic, severe sleep deprivation, and depression (for me).  I feel bad for Jacob already.  I suck enough when having slightly fitfull nights of sleep, let alone NO sleep with a screaming, kicking baby.  We shall see.  Pray for me, people.  Pray that I get an angel child.  Pray that I can manage to finish school without going on Zoloft and becoming a full-fledged alcoholic. (I'm only half-serious about that.)  Pray that Jacob doesn't leave my disgruntled ass. (I know he wouldn't, but we've never had a baby either.)  The closer the due date gets, the more terrified I become.  I'm still not convinced my personality is suited for motherhood.  I like fuzzy kitties who sleep all day and purr.  Can babies do that?

More??

Now nearing the end of my fifth month, I thought I had another few months before my boobs became even more engorged. I was wrong.  They are growing - again!  Not that I mind, really.  But I can't fit into any bras...so I have to buy more.  THEY'RE ENORMOUS.  (for me, anyway. Not to some other people.) I don't know how women with big boobs do it.

how much is too much?

As you all know, I struggle with the concept that I will be gaining weight during this whole experience.  I have heard that women of "normal" weight should only gain between 25-35 pounds throughout their entire pregnancy.  So, at only 21 weeks into this, I've gained 20 pounds.  With around 20 more weeks to go, that puts me over the 40 pound mark by the end of it all. Boo - hissssss.

Then I got to thinking (in order for me to feel better about that number), "Was I within that normal range when I started?"  On one site, for my height, the "healthy" range was between 131-160 pounds.  On another, for my height, weight, and age, the ideal range was 136-179.  That's quite a vast difference.  And seeing as how I was on the lower end at 136 when I started, I figured that maybe I could allow myself some extra L.B.s and not feel bad.  Imagine if I had started at 160!  By the end I might have weight 200 pounds!  It's a good thing I make my health and fitness a priority.  So, maybe I was closer to the "underweight" category than I thought (though, I felt and looked healthy in my eyes), which means that I can gain more weight (like up to 45 pounds) without putting my health at risk.  BUT - that is still hopefully not going to be the end result, as the more I gain, the more those nasty stretch marks will destroy any remnants of self-esteem I have left, if any.

Of course, sitting on my ass most of the day doing homework (and blogging) does not help the cause.  And feeling nauseated for so long did not help the cause. Thankfully that seems to be tapering off again.  I'll definitely be happy when this is all over and I can resume my normal level of activity.  (will that ever happen again, or am I kidding myself??)  Luckily, I have a wonderful husband who supports my priority of fitness, so I think he'll be a massive help and source of encouragement to help me return to my prepregnancy weight (or at least close to).  And, also, I don't want to have to buy a whole new wardrobe. 

All I know is, though I have no stretch marks yet, my skin feels awfully tight already.  I think I might actually cry the day I see my first purple streak snaking across my abdomen. DAMN YOU, GENES!  DAMN YOU FAIR SKIN! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! 

HOWEVER - I have heard that taller women have easier birthing experiences. Who knows why?  So, in that case, thanks to mom for picking dad and his 6'4" frame.  Thanks to God for blessing me with more of my dad's physicality.  I'm praying that will be the case and this little girl will just squirt her way out in no time.

20 weeks. HALF WAY!

I have definitely started to notice more movement, and have actually felt the little bugger through my skin.

I can't believe I'm only 4.5 months from becoming a parent.  It's surreal and I don't know if I am reacting "normally" to this.  I have yet to feel excited. More scared shitless and nervous that I will become a psycho baby-shaker.  People tell me I'll be a good mom, but they don't see me at my worst when I have had no sleep and I'm stressed beyond my limits...it's a bit scary.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh - weird!

Last night I'm sitting, reading on my couch, and I can feel this baby flipping around. It is so incredibly creepy - like an alien has inhabited my body, sucking my life's blood like a parasite so it can grow and destroy its incubator.  I wondered if I could see any of these tiny blasts of ammunition it has been unleashing on me.  I exposed my belly, watching the surface as if I was watching for the ever-elusive humpback to make its breech, when I see a small lump burst out and retreat just as quickly.  HOLY MOSES.  I mean, I KNOW there's a baby in there - I've seen the ultrasounds - but it's a whole other story to actually FEEL it and then SEE evidence on my body that something IS IN THERE...

Well shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh**

Just when I thought I was headed out of the woods with this morning sickness business, I wake up yesterday to more nausea and a gurgling gut.  This is now the second day in a row that I have felt more nauseated than in the past couple weeks - and it's constant, as usual.  No amount of food or drink, gum or mint, will save me.  I'm SO SICK OF THIS SHHHHHHH**.  It certainly doesn't help that I'm more emotional and I actually cried last night about it. No, I'm not ashamed.  Should I be?  How would you feel if you were nauseous all day long every day for, let's see, oh 14 weeks straight?  Yeah.  Thanks, pregnancy.  You rule.  It figures I would be one of the few who has morning sickness this long - and probably will throughout the whole damn thing. 

Bleh.

18 weeks and 1 day Ultrasound....what IS it???

Great profile.  The ultrasound tech took lots of pictures and tried to get it to move around a bit so she could determine the sex....and she is 90% sure it's a girl.  I called it at 9 weeks. ;-P  She's got a huge cranium.


Two nights ago I dreamt I had a baby girl and Jacob and I had not yet decided on a name together.  He didn't like my name (who knows why, it's beautiful), and so he suggested we name our daughter Lorax.  Yep. That's right. Lorax.  And no, I was not amenable to that name. I told Jacob the next day and he said, "That's a terrible name for a girl." To which I thought, so it's a GOOD name for a boy?  Hahaha.  So, no names have been discussed yet because we were waiting to know what it would be.  I have a few favorites, so we shall see what we come together and agree on.


I had a bit of a panic/anxiety attack after learning the sex because I sort of wanted boys.  But I think the anxiety is based on the fear I will have a sour relationship with my daughter and she will grow to loathe me.  Hopefully that won't happen.  At any rate, I know she will be a heartbreaker with the boys (unless she's gay).  She'll probably be tall, athletic (if she takes after like her parents), and smart.  Possibly a smart-ass.  


The results of the ultrasound showed a very healthy development. She weighs 12 ounces (normal), has both arms and legs, hands and feet, good cranial structure, intact cerebellum and brainstem, and appropriate amounts of fluid around her.  She's also approximately 7 inches from head to toe.  She likes to perch on my bladder, too.  Hence the peeing every hour.  I sighed a BIG sigh of relief knowing that she looks healthy.  


For me, I now weigh 152...a good 16-17 pounds more than my starting weight. Yikes.  I am now the heaviest I have ever been and I feel it all - like a fat suit strapped to my ass and thighs.  I don't look that heavy, though. It's very strange.  My blood pressure was nice at 104/62.  


That's all for now, I think.  Good news all around. :)  My sister-in-law and I will be starting the year off with two baby girls to enter into the Slife clan...an abnormality to say the least.  Can't wait to hear what name they decide on. (it better not be the one I want.)  ;-P

A BM? (baby movement)

I don't know for sure, but every once in a while - when I'm fairly certain my colon is inactive - I feel what I can only describe as a bubble popping.  Sometimes it's several in a row, other times it's only once, but they're always in the same area - central and low.  I thought maybe it was too early to be able to feel movement, but apparently it's not (according to all the baby websites).  It feels weird, and I thought maybe when I first felt it I would either be freaked out or totally stoked.  Oddly, I'm neither.  I guess I'm just taking it all as it comes, happy that he/she is still alive. :)

16 week pics

sleeping baby....

More pictures on hold for now

Typically, at this point I'd have a 16 week photo (been taking them every 4 weeks since 8 weeks), but my camera decided to stop working. :(  So as soon as I get a new one, I may not have any more pics to post.  I'm working on trying to figure out transferring my pics from my phone to the computer, but I have to find my manual cuz it's not as simple as I had hoped.

More to come...

Round TWO....details to follow:

OK.  Before I found out I was pregnant (again) I got a horrible UTI which affected my kidneys to the point that I couldn't stand up.  The pinnacle of my pain was on my birthday - which, incidentally, was the day this baby decided to burrow into my uterus.  I vowed I would be super super clean, drink lots of water, cranberry juice, et cetera so that I would never go through that again.  WELLLLLLL.....after all that, I, yet again, have a UTI.  This time, though, I have no symptoms (that I can tell) other than peeing a lot, but I thought that was more the pregnancy and drinking lots of water than anything else.  Clearly I must be doing something wrong.  I close the lid on my toilet before flushing, so no e. coli is getting on my toilet paper unless it leaps out of the crack and travels upwards of a foot onto my sink. 
At least, though, I am not in pain this time.  So, I'm off to the pharmacy to get  more antibiotics - which I'm not a fan of any meds, but this can't be avoided. 

If anyone knows other tricks to staving off more UTIs, PLEASE PASS THEM ALONG TO ME.  I've never had one before this year, so I don't know if it's just because I'm pregnant, or what. 

Oh - and I was called by the nurse case manager TWO weeks after my last appointment at the OB/GYN.  Does it usually take two weeks to get the results of a urinalysis?  NO.  I got results within 30 minutes at the walk-in clinic.  **shakes head**  Yet another reason why I am displeased with my care there.  What if I got really ill between my appointment and now?  I'd have to have paid for another visit to the urgent care for the same diagnosis. 

I'm sorry, everyone. I've turned this into a venting rant.  Steps will be taken tomorrow to change this. I swear.

Thanks for bearing with me!!!

I'm posting these all out of order - Sorry! This was taken at 12 weeks - just one week before the end of my first trimester. I've gained about 8 pounds at this point - yikes. Hoping the nausea dies down soon so I can curb my eating. Planning on getting a gym membership too, which should help the cause.

2nd Trimester

So I'm finally into the 2nd trimester and only one thing has gotten slightly better - the big C. Constipation has finally tamed down a bit, but I still have to watch what I eat, make sure I exercise, drink plenty of water, and take my fiber....but at least it's under control. It also may be because I'm not traveling right now and have access to all the regular food in my kitchen.

Last Thursday I had my 14 week doctor appointment. Little did I know I'd be sitting in the waiting room for 2 hours and 15 minutes before I was seen!!!!!!! I have been more than patient with this office and each time I give them another chance to redeem themselves, but NO MORE. This was the last straw. The midwife who saw me was nicer than the actual doctor, but I don't believe that is enough. I will be calling another office next week to see about changing locations. Hopefully they will have their act together more.

The one thing that was good about the visit was that the baby was still growing strong. The portable US machine detected a strong heartbeat and fetal movement. I have to say, knowing that it still thrives (with or without defects?) is comforting. I am, however, still the pessimist and often think that this baby will have some sort of detrimental defect or disorder. Maybe it's me thinking I don't deserve to have "the American dream family" with perfect 2.5 kids. I still can't believe I found such an amazing man who actually loves me and it's been nearly 4 years of marriage, 5.5 years of being together. I continue to pray that this baby be healthy and normal, but there's always a little voice in the back of my mind playing devil's advocate. If this baby turns out normal, I suppose I'll feel even more blessed. :)

As far as how I'm feeling - I'm now into my second trimester, which is supposed to be less awful than the first. HOWEVER, I continue to feel nauseated throughout the day. Today I almost wretched because we are planning to go out to breakfast and I only ate a banana. But I shoveled some dry cereal down the hatch and got it under control.

My belly is now looking more like a baby bump rather than just being chunky. It's becoming increasingly more difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position, as I am used to sleeping on my stomach or back. The WTE book says I shouldn't be sleeping on my back past the 4th month, so......i have only my sides left to sleep on for the next 5 months.

I am DEFINITELY looking forward to not feeling sick, but again, I am not optimistic that that will happen. Maybe I'll get lucky though.

I'm thinking more and more about names. I have a favorite girl name picked out which I hope Jacob will be good with. And I'm kicking around Leonidas for a boy. Hahaha. How badass would that be to have a Leonidas Slife running around?

8 weeks today (disregard the date of the post). Not too much change. Just getting some love handles and extra cushion in the rear. Yay. (insert sarcasm)

This is my 9 week 1 day old fetus...or zygote...or embryo....whatever it is at that time. According to that age, this little one implanted on MY BIRTHDAY. Whaddaya know? It's so wee. The heartbeat was strong at 166. It was crazy seeing the heart pumping. I'm pretty sure I could see two separate chambers as it beated. Looks like a girl to me. What do you think? ;-)

2nd time's the charm

I've decided to follow Marie's lead and blog my way through my pregnancy. As you all know, this is my second pregnancy, but first viable one. It's been an emotional first trimester as I am always thinking that something else will go wrong and we'll lose this one too. I have been fortunate, though, that nothing out of the ordinary has happened.

I thought I might be in for an easy pregnancy because at the start of week 6 I still did not have any major symptoms. But, that luck ran out shortly after week 6 began and the evil monster of morning sickness set in for good. I am constantly queasy and nauseous from the moment I wake to the moment I fall asleep and nothing really makes it better. I have noticed that having company lessens it - it most likely distracts me. When I am hungry, hot, and tired is when it is at its worst. Maybe it's a good thing that Jacob and I are apart right now. I'm pretty sure he'd get sick of me. ;)

Another evil symptom that has taken control of me is CONSTIPATION. I had no idea this was an issue during pregnancy, but you can all be damn sure that I will tell everyone to expect it when they first get pregnant. I am still trying to figure out how to keep this bastard under my control, instead of vice versa.

I must say, though, the sole reward (other than making a baby) of being pregnant are the two new additions on my chest. It's like I've finally become a woman. What most girls experience at 14, I am now experiencing at 32. Better late than never, right? I am deathly afraid of what they'll look like after I stop breastfeeding. Yikes. Start saving for my boob job now, Jacob, cuz I'm a fan of my new friends.

Fortunately, I've been able to continue exercising a bit almost every day. It's been tricky figuring out how much I can do without wiping myself out, and for the most part I've gotten into a rhythm. However, with all the pigging out to stave off nausea, I've packed on almost 10 pounds at 14 weeks. I'm definitely hoping for an easier 2nd trimester.

I'm starting to have a belly that resembles pregnancy rather than just looking like a porker now, and that's psychologically easier to deal with. If you know me at all, I am a vain SOB and I am horrified to see how gross my body will become. I am not one of those women who wanted nothing more than to have babies. But I AM trying to enjoy the wonder of growing a baby - even through all the flatulence, nausea, weight gain, acne, and constipation. This is supposed to be fun, right?

So, thanks for following along. I'll try my best to keep this light, funny, and honest and not dwell on the negative (as I tend to do). Pictures and videos to come.