how much is too much?

As you all know, I struggle with the concept that I will be gaining weight during this whole experience.  I have heard that women of "normal" weight should only gain between 25-35 pounds throughout their entire pregnancy.  So, at only 21 weeks into this, I've gained 20 pounds.  With around 20 more weeks to go, that puts me over the 40 pound mark by the end of it all. Boo - hissssss.

Then I got to thinking (in order for me to feel better about that number), "Was I within that normal range when I started?"  On one site, for my height, the "healthy" range was between 131-160 pounds.  On another, for my height, weight, and age, the ideal range was 136-179.  That's quite a vast difference.  And seeing as how I was on the lower end at 136 when I started, I figured that maybe I could allow myself some extra L.B.s and not feel bad.  Imagine if I had started at 160!  By the end I might have weight 200 pounds!  It's a good thing I make my health and fitness a priority.  So, maybe I was closer to the "underweight" category than I thought (though, I felt and looked healthy in my eyes), which means that I can gain more weight (like up to 45 pounds) without putting my health at risk.  BUT - that is still hopefully not going to be the end result, as the more I gain, the more those nasty stretch marks will destroy any remnants of self-esteem I have left, if any.

Of course, sitting on my ass most of the day doing homework (and blogging) does not help the cause.  And feeling nauseated for so long did not help the cause. Thankfully that seems to be tapering off again.  I'll definitely be happy when this is all over and I can resume my normal level of activity.  (will that ever happen again, or am I kidding myself??)  Luckily, I have a wonderful husband who supports my priority of fitness, so I think he'll be a massive help and source of encouragement to help me return to my prepregnancy weight (or at least close to).  And, also, I don't want to have to buy a whole new wardrobe. 

All I know is, though I have no stretch marks yet, my skin feels awfully tight already.  I think I might actually cry the day I see my first purple streak snaking across my abdomen. DAMN YOU, GENES!  DAMN YOU FAIR SKIN! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! 

HOWEVER - I have heard that taller women have easier birthing experiences. Who knows why?  So, in that case, thanks to mom for picking dad and his 6'4" frame.  Thanks to God for blessing me with more of my dad's physicality.  I'm praying that will be the case and this little girl will just squirt her way out in no time.